One of the best articles I have read out there lately besides maybe one of my own on the same or similar topic, I paste here. Why? Because, we as human beings need to remind ourselves that we do have and share in a common thread its called 'family' and sadly it is labeled as irrelevant and outdated. A couple of years ago when I was still teaching at university, I tried to discuss how important family is to society and how it is the first introduction to society we have. The socialization process begins with parents as in mother and father...the nuclear family at the helm. The socialization of a person begins with parents that is in terms of mother and father and their expected roles which are vital to that basic structure called family and equally vital as the foundation of the wider society regarding its stability and continuity.
Upon hearing this, the students stood up and screamed its not fair, who should tell anyone how to behave and what to do. Society should just be accepting and nice. Really, whose nice and or according to who - you? Who are you these days, if not for your father and mother...I asked?
A society without a solid foundation is destined to fail. The basic components of a stable society is the family and sadly in America and even around the world today, the family is being deconstructed.
So, without further adieu... important excerpts from an article I wish I wrote myself.
Fatherless
The Nuclear Family Meltdown
- By Kevin D. Denee and H. Chris Lomas
Who are you? What made you the way you are? What do you look like?
What do you value in life? What are your hopes, dreams and goals?
A
plethora of other “deep” or “probing” questions could be asked about
your person—but in almost every case, you could not turn to a single
event that forms the answer. This is because your life experience from
the day you were conceived has helped shape the person you are today.
From
a scientific perspective, many answers to the above questions would
begin with your brain. According to the University of Maine, the brain
starts working from the beginning of life: “Brain cells are ‘raw’
materials—much like lumber is a raw material in building a house, and a
child’s experiences and interactions help build the structure, put in
the wiring, and paint the walls. Heredity (nature) determines the basic
number of ‘neurons’ (brain nerve cells) children are born with, and
their initial arrangement.
“At birth, a baby’s brain contains 100
billion neurons, roughly as many nerve cells as there are stars in the
Milky Way, and almost all the neurons the brain will ever have. The
brain starts forming prenatally, about three weeks after conception.
Before birth, the brain produces trillions more neurons and ‘synapses’
(connections between the brain cells) than it needs. During the first
years of life, the brain undergoes a series of extraordinary changes.”
From
a young age, you were like a sponge, soaking up your
environment—sounds, shapes, lights, faces, voices, languages, music,
emotions, etc. As you grew, more complex things impacted your world,
ultimately developing who you are today—parents, other caregivers,
siblings, friends, education, physical environment, etc.
Now ask:
which individuals were most responsible for your developmental years of
life? For most readers, the answer is a father and mother.
For
millennia, this has been the cycle of the family unit: A man and woman
come together in marriage. They have children. They care for their
children and teach them how to live. The children grow up, take what
they have learned, and live their own lives, usually becoming parents.
And thus, the cycle continues.
That cycle is quickly falling
apart. The social experiments of the 20th and 21st centuries—which have
attempted to redefine the roles of parent and child—have caused the
family to come under assault. One of the most profound changes that has
resulted is that families are increasingly becoming fatherless.
The Facts
Over the last 50 years, more and more children have been growing up
without their fathers. The role of a father should, simply from a
mathematical perspective, be one that contributes 50 percent to the
development of any child. But millions of children in the United States,
and the world at large, will put their heads on a pillow tonight in a
home without one.
Notice these statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau:
- “Between 1991 and 2009, children living with only their mother increased from 21 percent to 24 percent.”
- “Of the 74.6 million children younger than 18 in 2011…27 percent lived with one parent…”
- Over 17 million children live without a father.
Think about the last point. Seventeen million children are growing up
without a father figure—without the teaching, guiding,
experience-building, correcting and nurturing that a father can bring.
When you see 20 children, realize that five are not living with their
father.
In the 1950s, the term “nuclear family” was coined. This
essentially described a family of a father, mother and children. This
was to distinguish from an “extended family,” which could include
grandparents, or others. By the 1960s, 80 percent of America’s children
lived with two married parents—today under 70 percent do.
Clearly,
the nuclear family is facing a meltdown. Where will it end? What impact
will this have on millions of minds—generation after generation?
Your Responsibility
Fathers, you were asked at the beginning of this article, “Who are you?”The
answer to this question lies in the actions you take in addition to the
choices your parents made. You must ask, who will your children become?
You have the potential to create human beings who will succeed, make
the right decisions, have their own happy families—and in the end, reach
their ultimate potential.
You have brought children into the
world, and properly rearing them is your responsibility. All the
physical possessions you gain in your life, the riches and the material
things, are not permanent. But your children will live on, and they, in
turn, will also have children, who will have children, and so on. The parenting decisions you make now will affect generations to come.
*The Nuclear Family must still be hidden deep in our social imagination as being important as we still put the nuclear family in the whitehouse and will likely continue to though the selection offered is not ideal, the components remain. EfG